Thought of the Dave
Bad Business In Cleethorpes
A couple of years ago I was on tour with a show called “Rock and Roll Heaven”, which went all around the country, spending at least a week in a city before moving on. One week of the run, we found ourselves at Grimsby Auditorium.
There are a number of downsides to touring. Two of the main ones are trying to find suitable digs and trying to find somewhere decent to eat. Many hours can be spent wandering around another city, trying to find somewhere to get a decent meal, before going to the theatre to do the show. During the Grimsby week a few of the cast – including myself - had the ‘pleasure’ of staying in a holiday camp in nearby Cleethorpes. This had enough comedy in itself, but I shall save that for another occasion…
One day, after wandering through the streets (which literally and bizarrely, smelt of gravy*), we found a greasy spoon. We picked it up, looked at it then discarded it, hoping to find a café instead.
While we were sitting eating a heart attack-inducing fry up, we happened to
glance out of the window and notice a number of shops over the road, with
their windows boarded up. “Must be hard to run a business in this area” one
of our entourage piped up. Unless, you work in gravy, I thought to myself.
“I wonder what that shop over there used to be?” said another. We all
collectively leant forward and squinted , to read the hoarding above the
shop doorway. There, in amongst childlike drawings of a windmill, a pair of
clogs and a slice of cheese, were the words “MADE IN HOLLAND”.
Now if you can’t make a specialist shop selling quality Dutch merchandise
work on a back-street of the fishing town Grimsby, then what hope is there
for modern enterprise…
* It has just occurred to me that the smell of gravy I attributed to being
the natural odour of the streets of Cleethorpes, may be an innocent
misunderstanding. It is in fact very possible I may have neglected to notice
a small patch of gravy, which may have been secreted under my nose at that
time. I apologise for any offence this observation may have caused.